


A Friend in You

by N3kkra



Series: Alex and Gabi's Clusterfuck of One Shots [4]
Category: Mass Effect: Andromeda
Genre: Break Up, Comfort, Crying, Denial of Feelings, F/M, Feelings Realization, Jaal to the rescue!, Logical Ryder, Past Ryder/Reyes, Post-Break Up, Reyes doesn't appear, Ryder doesn't cry, Ryder doesn't do feelings, What are tears?, Yes she does
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-04
Updated: 2018-07-04
Packaged: 2019-06-05 08:48:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15167024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/N3kkra/pseuds/N3kkra
Summary: Reyes and Ryder are over, and Ryder can't quite tell how she feels about it until Jaal gives her some pointers on something called 'emotions'.





	A Friend in You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [DragonoftheMidwest](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DragonoftheMidwest/gifts).



> Super short fic for my buddy, as per request!

            Pandora Ryder sat on the edge a rock, overlooking Kadara. Her eyes stung and her chest felt tight, but she couldn’t quite figure out what was wrong with her. She and Reyes had ended things. He wasn’t who she thought he was, and the betrayal was more than she could forgive. Their friendship –professional and otherwise– had come to a halt, and now she was trying to diagnose why she wasn’t… all right.

            Footsteps alerted her to the presence of another, and Pandora glanced up to look at her angaran squadmate with a raised brow. “Need something?” she asked and he tilted his head thoughtfully before gesturing to the open spot beside her.

            “May I sit?” he asked, his voice bubbly. Or growly. She couldn’t really decide which it was. Maybe it depended on his mood.

            “Of course,” she turned back to look at the landscape. “Just thinking.”

            “What are you thinking about?”

            She pursed her lips and mulled that over. “I’m thinking about myself. I feel a tightness in my chest and my eyes burn. I’m also slightly nauseous and want to hit something.”

            “You’re hurting.”

            “No, I sustained no wounds,” she shook her head and sat up, taking a deep breath.

            “Oh no,” Jaal smiled and shook his head. “Not on the outside, Ryder. Within,” he touched his heart and looked at her with nebula like eyes.

            “That’s not logical,” she shook her head. “I shouldn’t be _hurting_. Nothing’s happened.”

            “Reyes,” Jaal said simply like it meant something. When Pandora only blinked at him, he continued with, “You and he shared something, and now it is over. You miss it.”

            “I don’t follow. I’ve ended many relationships in the past and have never felt this. It must be connected to something else,” she started to stand, but Jaal shook his head.

            “Ryder,” he waved for her to retake her seat and continued only when she did. “You had a connection with Reyes that was more than professional. You two were…” he paused and watched her face to make sure he wasn’t overstepping, “intimate.”

            “It was one time.”

            “But it meant something to you, no?” he tilted his head and she looked away, thinking about it.

            It did mean something to her. “I… thought we were going to grow into… something like my parents.” She glanced sideways at Jaal and wet her lips before continuing. “I could see our whole future. I could see us making a life here, together. Having kids. Pets. A _home_.” As she went on, her heart hurt more and she swallowed hard, her throat closing. “My chest hurts, Jaal.”

            “You’re mourning the future you saw with him,” he rested his hand on her shoulder and looked into her eyes. “It is all right to cry, Ryder.”

            She shook her head. “That’s illogical, Jaal. You can’t mourn something that’s not real –that you didn’t have.”

            “Feelings are real. Dreams and wishes are real.” He massaged her shoulder and looked out at the hills around them. The lighting made the lively foliage look too happy, and it seemed she was being mocked by it. Everything was happy and healthy but her.

            She was here on the break of tears because of a man she wanted to have a future with. But she was the one to end it.

            Pandora’s jaw set and she sighed. “I don’t like this.”

            “You have feelings just like everyone else, Pandora,” he chuckled, the sound deep and welcoming. Friendly.

            “How do I make it better? How do I… get it to go away?” she looked at him with a perked brow.

            “The pain?” She nodded. “Time,” he said simply and shifted where he sat. “Many people cry. It helps.”

            “I don’t cry,” she shook her head and folded her arms across her chest defiantly. “I didn’t cry when my dad died. I didn’t cry when Scott went into the coma. And I won’t cry because of a breakup.”

            Jaal shifted in his seat and nodded. “Okay, Ryder.”

            After a few moments of silence her chest tightened up more as she thought about what he’d said and she sucked in a long breath through shaking lips. She was losing the fight with her eyes and with the next breath came a sob.

            “Okay,” she whispered so that she could hold onto her dignity. “Maybe I will cry. Just a little.”

            Jaal nodded, his face solemn and he looked away while the water fell from her eyes.

            When the next sob shook her, she reached out and wrapped her arms around the angaran and sobbed into his shoulder. “Why does it hurt so much?”

            “Because it was real.”

            She cried into Jaal’s shoulder and neck, curling close so that she could only feel him. Since she met him, she’d known there was something about him, but hesitation kept her from pursuing him like she had Reyes. Reyes had been too easy. It was natural. It just happened. It felt right, all the way up to the end.

            And now it was over, and she was crying for the loss of a man she didn’t really know but had fallen in love with.

            Jaal’s arms helped even more than the tears. He stroked her hair and whispered soft words in her ear that made her feel strong despite her weakness, made her feel happy despite her sadness, and made it feel right to be here, in his embrace.

            When the tears finally came to an end, it was late and they needed to return to the ship. No one knew what happened on Kadara but Jaal and Pandora. And SAM. But SAM had let her handle this on her own.

            _I like him better,_ the AI said to her as she parted ways with Jaal on the ship.

            “Me, too,” Ryder said softly and went to her room.


End file.
